Hey bloggers
Hey blogging family,
Right now I feel as though Im drowning in loneliness,its nothing new its been happening for a while now. Im not going to sit here and say Im happy I wish I was but Im not. Im not going to whinge or complain or try to come up with excuses. Im really scared and ashamed no matter what I do its never enough, Im not tall enough, Im not pretty enough,Im not loud enough I dont talk enough, whatever I do its never good enough I could change my personality but then I wouldnt be me.
Im tired of being not good enough I live my life in 2nd gear because no matter how hard I push myself if I push myself into 1st gear nobody sees the pain. I hide myself behind a layer of clothing because Im too thin,being self concious of it makes me not want to dress up or put make up on high heels forget it besides the fact that im not a girly girl nor would I be I have a few coordination issues the floor and I are best friends some days and the walls seem to just come into my line of vision the minute I bump into them.
Sometimes average is never good enough in our society so we try to live up to society we mask our true raw feelings, the ones that scare us the most developing ways to get through or past them without ever trying to hear or feel them, sweeping them under a rug because they never truely go away they are always on our subconcious. I feel raw being shy I hate feeling vunerable even if it is fleeting because it means that my sacred feelings makes it way too easy for other people to judge,critic and criticise the pain and person they are seeing.
I always think life can be seen in two different options the positive and the negative, I always try to view life in a postive light but sometimes I see my life negatively its affected me today. I was asked if I was happy today so I answered as honestly as I could and I said no, I said I am a positive person but right now I am going through a negative headspace.After I answered the question I reflected on my answer and from then my mood went down hill from bad to worse I also had a 2 day migraine. I always tell myself when I am feeling like this what I am going through someone else is going through worse than me. Nobody said us humans need to be perfect so why do we always try to live up to this expectation that we should be when clearly our differences and little imperfections make us individual?
We live in a world right now where if we got a microscope or magnifiying glass to see all our imperfections we would stick a peice of black or white material over the screen so we couldnt see them. We are not perfect we are human raw with feelings and emotions. We are all facing battles sometimes we try to avoid battles challenging obstacles but sometimes we have to face them. These challenges are only temperary, we live in a forced world where the rat race catches up to us and sometimes we fumble but remember to be strong enough to handle them. Strength is not the weight of the barbell bell but the that little voice whispering to us in our minds to keep going and the next day is going to be better than the last one .
From Eimz xx
Right now I feel as though Im drowning in loneliness,its nothing new its been happening for a while now. Im not going to sit here and say Im happy I wish I was but Im not. Im not going to whinge or complain or try to come up with excuses. Im really scared and ashamed no matter what I do its never enough, Im not tall enough, Im not pretty enough,Im not loud enough I dont talk enough, whatever I do its never good enough I could change my personality but then I wouldnt be me.
Im tired of being not good enough I live my life in 2nd gear because no matter how hard I push myself if I push myself into 1st gear nobody sees the pain. I hide myself behind a layer of clothing because Im too thin,being self concious of it makes me not want to dress up or put make up on high heels forget it besides the fact that im not a girly girl nor would I be I have a few coordination issues the floor and I are best friends some days and the walls seem to just come into my line of vision the minute I bump into them.
Sometimes average is never good enough in our society so we try to live up to society we mask our true raw feelings, the ones that scare us the most developing ways to get through or past them without ever trying to hear or feel them, sweeping them under a rug because they never truely go away they are always on our subconcious. I feel raw being shy I hate feeling vunerable even if it is fleeting because it means that my sacred feelings makes it way too easy for other people to judge,critic and criticise the pain and person they are seeing.
I always think life can be seen in two different options the positive and the negative, I always try to view life in a postive light but sometimes I see my life negatively its affected me today. I was asked if I was happy today so I answered as honestly as I could and I said no, I said I am a positive person but right now I am going through a negative headspace.After I answered the question I reflected on my answer and from then my mood went down hill from bad to worse I also had a 2 day migraine. I always tell myself when I am feeling like this what I am going through someone else is going through worse than me. Nobody said us humans need to be perfect so why do we always try to live up to this expectation that we should be when clearly our differences and little imperfections make us individual?
We live in a world right now where if we got a microscope or magnifiying glass to see all our imperfections we would stick a peice of black or white material over the screen so we couldnt see them. We are not perfect we are human raw with feelings and emotions. We are all facing battles sometimes we try to avoid battles challenging obstacles but sometimes we have to face them. These challenges are only temperary, we live in a forced world where the rat race catches up to us and sometimes we fumble but remember to be strong enough to handle them. Strength is not the weight of the barbell bell but the that little voice whispering to us in our minds to keep going and the next day is going to be better than the last one .
From Eimz xx
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