Facing a brick wall

Hey readers

Slowly recently I haven't been my normal self no matter how much I try I have felt lost, add the pressure I have been put under between family, general life and social media it has all gotten to me. It's as if the world is tightening around my shoulders, my parents decided that after 24 years off being semi easy going semi strict parents they were going to start being seriously OVER PROTECTIVE to the point if I am going to have a life every decision I making has to be run through them.

Social media got to me today it got so bad today I didn't want to use my phone, it's as if every minute of my day is spent on my phone whether it be work related or personal use every person wants or needs apart of me my life is on my phone, it didn't take me long to realise today that I needed a break from social media so right now unless it's for emails or music or audio books then I won't be able to contact people do you know the freedom that happens after that sentence it feels so good nobody is able to contact me unless it's an emergency!

I am in the freedom zone almost now just got to do my driving lessons and then build my bank account back up to normal/liveable then I can go on a holiday just need to work my arse off no breaks needed just get to a comfortable place again then I can go on a holiday set my goals again.

I feel like now there is way to much added pressure in my life from all different people it doesn't matter whether it's family, friends,work people,coaches or people who want me to be their girlfriend the list is endless and it adding up society wants me to be flawless but it's all ok if I'm flawed too your flaws are what make you beautiful says society but then family say don't go out with this guy he is no good for you to friends saying lets catch up to guys being like lets go out on a date to work saying can you work this day and we want you to work 10hours with no brakes because the trucks will be here constantly oh and everyone saying make sure you smile because it makes you seem friendly. But where is the break? Why is it so upsetting if we don't smile I am not a puppet I am a HUMAN I have feelings and rights and words and yes I am flawed but that's ok I don't recall it being anybody else's life to begin with my life my opinion my rules my beliefs are shaped by the experiences I have had I am not a robot or a cardboard cutout with no emotions but some days like right now it feels like it is.